The laws have changed, I dare to say

Every night I have been telling myself that out there somewhere there’s a girl who would blend perfectly well with my otherwise humble, pleasant character. Of course after more than 300 years of existence I found one (excluding ex) but God loves to test me because the girl was happily married when I found her (with a generous exclaimed of what the hell??). Sometimes I wish if God has an undo button so that I could rolled back the years to convince her that she’s destined to be with me and our first kid would be the next Cristiano Ronaldo and she would be the most happiest girl ever although it made no sense at all.

If there’s one lesson in this world that I found it hard to learn, it has to be a date with a gold digger as the brutal truth is I had been “educated” the expensive way before. It might sounds like basic knowledge, but most guys especially the past me usually don't think with the big head when they first meet a hot woman. On my last date, I reluctantly recommended a very PRICEY restaurant. As much as I love to impress on a first date, I was hoping for a simple no but because she knows that I’m going to work my ass off to pay the bills she surprisingly say yes. Things are going well for the first 20 minutes when in a somewhat astonishing twist, she starts to talk about not having enough watches and bags. My hopes of engaging in an intelligent discourse with her were crudely dashed as I believed she was someone who had an intellect despite the fact that she does inherited the “Chinese girl ADD” and she dressed like a Taiwanese pop star and she doesn’t speak English well and she idolises Edison Chen. My lungs was shrinking, I was left gasping for air, flashes of manhole pass me by, I could hear evil demons laughing while repeatedly shouting “loser” and I swear to God at that exact moment I saw Kanya West and Jamie Foxx belting out their hit right opposite our table!

You see, I don’t expect much from my first date. I don’t care if she makes burp or fart sound while she’s eating. I don’t even care if she has 20 sex partners. I’m not faulting her for being materialistic either or rather the aftermath of the next 20 minutes of conversations that we had, on how she indulged with her bigoted, myopic, sexist, inherent stupidity random thoughts and about how men should treat their “species” and the way she presents herself which akin to an obsolete piece of shit desperate to be sold in a mega sale and the blatantly obvious empty space in her brain that annoys me much or put in a nicer manner, extremely off-putting. It only serves to reinforce the myth that pretty girls are generally stupid.

Calmness has always been my forte and the conversation had masterfully directed towards me on having my own MASTERPLAN in becoming a millionaire at the age of 30 in which I explains in a very difficult manner, balancing between the need to charm her “you have to believe this shit” without prompting her asking for details and I would married her if she can gives me two kids named after my great-great grandfather, Al Palacious and my great-great grandmother, El Francesca and she will have no problems in paying the bills of their great-great grandson, Al Fabieno and for once fate works in my favor, she seemed very much convinced if not amazed. With confidence at its highest point and a penchant for stupidly grandiose, instinctive ingenuity of bullshitting starts to take control when I talk about how Albert Einstein discovered gravity, how Neil Armstrong landed on Pluto and Sepak Takraw was invented by the British. Shockingly, she seems even more convinced or my guess is she was just too nice to say, “Shut up and finish your food, you fool. Can’t you see I’m a shell?”

I’m coming to my senses now. Outer beauty is a preference for over-flooded testosterone charged male species for what had became a past tense to me. I know that it's hard to resist the sweet-cute-innocent looking damsels or the hot-steamy-sexy lady but if you have to “cherish” someone why not choose someone whom you can be proud of beside looks. I’m not going as far as to say I’m open for a date with a Goddess of Fertility but intelligent woman had me lust with ecstatic admiration. Lovely!